Family systems theory says that the best opportunity for a family to change is when there's a birth, death or marriage. I remember hoping when we got married 5 years ago that it might afford opportunities for change in some of the relationships around me, but didn't find it happened in the way I hoped. Now here I am again at the crossroads of one of those momentous system shifts and am finding myself in the midst of unprecedented change. I think that part of the wonderousness of it all is that I didn't expect it to happen this time. What's closer to the truth is I'm finding myself blown away by the inner healing, re-connections, moments of forgiveness and life-altering conversations that keep happening all around me.
I keep wondering how it works. I mean, Eliana doesn't really DO anything, in fact she's more or less slept through all the significant moments I've alluded to above. And yet it's as if there's something about her, sitting there all slumped over in her chair, making little noises, that softens and opens people. What a magical little creature she's turning out to be! Miracles are abounding in her presence. Does she know it? Does any part of her little heart realize how profoundly she's changing my life and others'?
Sometimes I exclaim things like "you're so amazing!", as if my loudness could somehow get the words across better. She smiles and makes noises back, in the same way she would if I yelled "gaaaa boooo gu-ump!"
Relationships have changed around me that I had honestly given up hope for, and it's making me scarily optimistic about tackling change in every relationship that's sorely needed it. This little girl is giving me unprecedented courage, scary courage to say things and ask things that I otherwise wouldn't have dared.
How do I say "thank you!" loud enough for her to get it?
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